Generation 4: Part 6. She's always a woman

After all I had been through in the last years, it really seemed like I had found my way at last. I honestly can’t tell what had been in the way between me and Cassie, but whatever it was, it was gone now and we could enjoy the time we had together. We didn’t care if people were staring at us in the middle of the street, because we were kissing. Cassie was the most wonderful woman in the world and I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, here in Appaloosa Plains.

Somebody else also had finally settled down. Our dogs Cora and Bodo had spent a huge amount of time together, and in the last few weeks Cora had gotten much bigger than she usually was. This seemed strange to me, but I didn’t expect what happened on one sunny afternoon – she gave birth to puppies. Three cute puppies that turned my house into a giant playground!

Meet Flip, Benny and Delilah (from left to right)!

Watching my three little ones was like watching my own kids grow. They played around in the house, occasionally tripped over themselves and landed on the floor, but immediately got up and continued running. It was hard not to step on them, because they were so small, even smaller than their bowls!

And they were loved so much. Their parents were all over them, cuddling them, playing with them, making sure they were okay. It was exactly like I wanted to take care of my children later. Only that I wouldn’t lick them as a sign of affection, that I was sure of.

Although I was pretty busy with my job and with watching my five dogs, I always made time for my girlfriend. Cassie had still not been promoted, so that we rarely saw each other in the office.

Which made the time we spent together seem much more valuable. Every minute with her was like I was in heaven. 

And although there sometimes were moments where I wouldn’t understand why she was acting the way she did, we were getting along great. It had taken me a long time, but I really understood that people were different. That they didn’t feel the same way, didn’t think the same way. 

One night, when we were at a party, we somehow ended up in the host’s bedroom. Outside we heard a few kids playing and screaming, then the voices of bugged parents who told their kids to keep it down. We looked at each other and smiled. And although we didn’t say much, we saw in each other’s eyes that we both wanted this as well. Being a family. Still it frightened me to hear the word “marriage” spoken out loud. Maybe it was a little too soon for us, but it was going to happen.

Another thing happened first – my birthday! The days had rushed by and it was time for me to turn into a real adult. When I was blowing out the candles, a little voice in my head told me that I should consider taking the next step now. I wasn’t getting any younger, neither was Cassie. 

Even a new look couldn’t bring back my youth, which now seemed to be officially over. I had spent some time without caring about my responsibilities and enjoying life, but now it was time to get serious again. 

Author's Notes: Two posts within less than 24 hours! I just really felt like getting on with the story, so I spontaneously sat down and wrote another chapter. (And did I mention that I'd do anything to avoid my internship paper?) Finn is already an adult now, which means more than half of his life is over already. Looks like he really should speed up a little.

Chapter title is a beautiful song by Billy Joel. I've first heard it in a german version by a singer/songwriter whose music I really love. She made her own lyrics to this, but kept the overall message. I then curiously looked for the original and fell in love with this song... :)

Generation 4: Part 5. Liebe ist

Really slowly my father seemed to be getting his life back, which was a huge relieve for me. It had been so hard to watch how his life seemed to not mean a thing to him, but at the same time it was awkward to watch him with another woman as well. But maybe this was what he had needed – the recognition of another person who was not me. Now that he had put Gracie behind him (which I was very happy about), he started going out on his own much more than before. He either could be seen in the gym or at the beach, talking to new people or just reading a book he had just bought.

I used my free time to work on my painting skill. Painting helped me relax from my exhausting days at work and to express what I was thinking in the back of my mind. To be honest, sometimes I was surprised by what had been lingering there…. Apparently, the child in me had never completely left. But then again, this made sense! I always worried about Freya and how she was coping with school and her friends, and later her boyfriend Madox. Instead of playing outside or meeting with friends, there had only been two things on my mind: one was school and homework, the other one was the solidarity in my family and how I could get it back. When I think back to the days when I was still in school, I cannot remember a single day where I went to bed without any sorrows. Maybe now that I was free for the first time, the need of being childish came back to me.

When I talked to Cassie about it, she did not seem to understand me completely. Sure, it probably was not the best idea to start with something like “Finally I can be a child!”, which seemed to freak her out a little. She clearly told me that she did not want to be with somebody who acted like a child. And although I tried to make clear that it was not the need to play with plastic boats or trains that I needed, but the lightheartedness that I never had when I was younger. Taking the pressure off me for once. Living, without thinking about the consequences.

The following days were the funniest I ever had. Cassie had finally accepted that there was something I had missed and she tried to make it up to me. We had a lot of pillow fights and playful tussles, which made the both of us laugh so hard that our stomachs hurt. It felt good to let go of everything and just be with the sweetest woman on earth. And this was clearly what she was.

And together, we took “having fun” to a whole new level.

It felt like I had found my way. My even temper and my happiness was reflected in my work and I got promoted! By now I was a pretty important man in the company and got calls about stuff all the time. Having thought that working there could be dull at first, I was proven wrong. This job was great, really. Well, maybe this had to do with my colleagues – especially one, Cassie. She made me smile every day as soon as I entered the office.

The new vitality made me take a step I would have been too afraid for otherwise – I invited my dad into our car and drove down to Freya’s house. We had heard that she and Madox had separated and we wanted to see how she was. Having arrived, we were heartily greeted and invited into the house. It seemed like a big family reunion after all these years.

My father was even happier to have Freya back than I was. He had often thought about this moment when she had left the house and to him, it always had been wrong. If we had kept her at home, everything would have been different.

I am very sad to say that we only had a couple of minutes as a family, before fate stroke. Death did not seem to be very sympathetic and took my dad there and then. He took him away from us. My, no, our dad was gone forever.

Although we tried to console each other, it did not really work out. Losing our dad was something we could not just get over with. There were so many emotions inside of me.

As soon as I had arrived back home, I called Cassie. I desperately needed someone around me who could cheer me up. Somebody I loved.

Being with her was right. I felt it.

Author's notes: Rest in Peace, Felipe :( It was sad to see him die, but at least it was while his entire family (or what was left of it) was around him.

Finn's new direction in life is interesting. Something clearly makes him happier than before and seems to have helped him find the way and figure out what he wants. Who he wants.

Sorry for the long break! Although I had the last three weeks off, I didn't manage to play much. There was a lot to do for university (as I tend to start writing essays and papers in the last minute), in addition spring finally started! Sunshine, sunshine, sunshine. It is amazing. 

Chapter title is German :D The translation for that would be "love is", which does not sound like a great title. But it's a great song and I love it.

Generation 4: Part 4. Land of Confusion

My first day of going to work! I was so excited. Ever since I got that job in a small concern in the middle of Appaloosa Plains, I had been looking forward to this day. Finally I could start working to earn my own money! Since I never had a job after school –like helping out in the bookstore or stuff like that-, this was a first for me. I just hoped it would go well.

Well, except that it started with me being late for work, the first day was really great. Everybody was nice to me and I felt at home straight away. It was nice to know that I would be staying here for some time, at least until I was a department head. At that point it was time to find a new challenge, but until then I was really happy with that job.

Now being out of the house most of the time meant that my father had to take care of the entire household and Cora. This apparently was something he couldn’t accomplish before. Just have a look at our dining room – it’s a mess! I decided to hire him some help, so that he wouldn’t be on his own with this. The maid agency I called promised me to send someone straight away, but it wasn’t before the next day that a male (!) maid stopped by. He basically just cleaned the dishes, the bathroom and then left, but that was better than nothing. And I could cope with the rest when I got back from work. (Sorry, but I really don’t get tired of saying this “going to work” – “coming back from work”…) The most important thing was that my father was able to rest a little, since he had become really old in the last time. Dealing with my mother’s death was tough for him and I felt really bad for leaving him behind all day while I was doing my thing (not going to say the “w”-word now), but someone had to earn the money for our living. Living with a dog wasn’t exactly cheap either – the food alone was really expensive. In addition she regularly needed new toys and stuff for her entertainment. Life wasn’t exactly great, but I was trying to get there.

My father really enjoyed his days in our new house – most of the time he was painting now. His painting skill really had improved a lot in the last few months, so it was really good that he didn’t have to take care of the house as well. That possibly would have led to a loss in creativity and also energy. Something I didn’t want at all.

By trying to make my father’s life as pleasant as possible, it was obvious that I couldn’t take care of my wishes, as well. I tried to, but it just didn’t work out. In my free time I just watched TV, always listening if my father was doing okay, or went for a short walk with Cora, but always took my cell phone with me so that my father could contact me if there was something wrong. This was so incredibly frustrating! This wasn’t the life I wanted to have. The life I really wanted included a woman, love and companionship, as well as a job I loved and some friends to hang out with every now and then. Now compare this to the life I currently had – yes, I had a job I liked. But that was it. My friends were busy with their own things and my girlfriend…well, we hadn’t talked much in the last few weeks. Actually we were colleagues now, which would technically include more contact than before, but somehow that didn’t happen.

Something inside of me told me to try one more time. Maybe we just needed a cooling off period for some reasons, and now were on a better track than before. It was definitely worth a try, this girl had known me most of my life and knew me better than anybody else, except maybe my father.

We ended up doing our own things in the house – she went to play on her computer and I read a book that I found in her book shelf and wanted to read for a very long time. I guess this shows that we actually are perfect for each other. We are able to spend some time apart while we are together. That was good. Right? RIGHT??

Later that night I decided to check up on my half-sister Tamera (Author’s comment: Kim’s and Felipe’s daughter), as we didn’t get to talk much at work either. Yes, she was working at the same company as Cassie and me. Sometimes the world is just a really small place. Anyway, we had a great time jamming at their pool.

While I wasn’t experiencing any kind of romance, my father seemed to have fallen for somebody recently. He had told me a few times that there was one woman that made him feel special again. She was nothing like my mother, but he felt appreciated, which was something he apparently missed. When he told me about this, I was a little shocked, because he was already really old, but at the same time relieved that I wasn’t the only person in his life anymore. That partly took the pressure of me. I most certainly didn’t know that this woman was Gracie Loveland, Cassie’s mom! Seeing as we had flirted, this made me really uncomfortable.

When I tried to talk to him about it, he didn’t really get my point. I told him that I wasn’t really happy with him dating Gracie, but kind of left out that we had been close to having an affair. Instead I made this about my relationship with Cassie only and told him that it would be awkward if my father was in love with my maybe-mother-in-law. Lame, I know. But it was the best I could come up with. It didn’t help anyway, because he insisted on seeing her.

After that had completely failed, I went to talk to Cassie, hoping that she would understand. She had just gotten back from work and was in a really bad mood, which made her being more snappy than usual. Every day I wondered if she was the right woman for me and it were situations like these that made me think she wasn’t. I know that I have thought about this before, but my mind gets twisted around so much that I can’t tell right from wrong. Hopefully I will find a solution soon, before I get hurt.

Author's notes: Sorry it's been so long! The lessons in first grade required much more preparation than I thought, so that I didn't get to playing Sims or writing at all.Now the internship is over and I'm really sad about it :( Teaching the little ones was a lot of fun, really. And I will miss them....

Anyway, on with Finn's story. I am still way behind on the game, so that there should be 3-5 more chapters until I've catched up. At the same time I want to know what's going on next, which means I should write faster, catch up and then continue playing. Or something like that.

And something about the picture-uploading: I now did the whole thing on the HTML editor and it worked!!! *gives Susan a big cookie* Thanks a lot for helping me out and explaining everything :)