Generation 4: Part 5. Liebe ist

Really slowly my father seemed to be getting his life back, which was a huge relieve for me. It had been so hard to watch how his life seemed to not mean a thing to him, but at the same time it was awkward to watch him with another woman as well. But maybe this was what he had needed – the recognition of another person who was not me. Now that he had put Gracie behind him (which I was very happy about), he started going out on his own much more than before. He either could be seen in the gym or at the beach, talking to new people or just reading a book he had just bought.

I used my free time to work on my painting skill. Painting helped me relax from my exhausting days at work and to express what I was thinking in the back of my mind. To be honest, sometimes I was surprised by what had been lingering there…. Apparently, the child in me had never completely left. But then again, this made sense! I always worried about Freya and how she was coping with school and her friends, and later her boyfriend Madox. Instead of playing outside or meeting with friends, there had only been two things on my mind: one was school and homework, the other one was the solidarity in my family and how I could get it back. When I think back to the days when I was still in school, I cannot remember a single day where I went to bed without any sorrows. Maybe now that I was free for the first time, the need of being childish came back to me.

When I talked to Cassie about it, she did not seem to understand me completely. Sure, it probably was not the best idea to start with something like “Finally I can be a child!”, which seemed to freak her out a little. She clearly told me that she did not want to be with somebody who acted like a child. And although I tried to make clear that it was not the need to play with plastic boats or trains that I needed, but the lightheartedness that I never had when I was younger. Taking the pressure off me for once. Living, without thinking about the consequences.

The following days were the funniest I ever had. Cassie had finally accepted that there was something I had missed and she tried to make it up to me. We had a lot of pillow fights and playful tussles, which made the both of us laugh so hard that our stomachs hurt. It felt good to let go of everything and just be with the sweetest woman on earth. And this was clearly what she was.

And together, we took “having fun” to a whole new level.

It felt like I had found my way. My even temper and my happiness was reflected in my work and I got promoted! By now I was a pretty important man in the company and got calls about stuff all the time. Having thought that working there could be dull at first, I was proven wrong. This job was great, really. Well, maybe this had to do with my colleagues – especially one, Cassie. She made me smile every day as soon as I entered the office.

The new vitality made me take a step I would have been too afraid for otherwise – I invited my dad into our car and drove down to Freya’s house. We had heard that she and Madox had separated and we wanted to see how she was. Having arrived, we were heartily greeted and invited into the house. It seemed like a big family reunion after all these years.

My father was even happier to have Freya back than I was. He had often thought about this moment when she had left the house and to him, it always had been wrong. If we had kept her at home, everything would have been different.

I am very sad to say that we only had a couple of minutes as a family, before fate stroke. Death did not seem to be very sympathetic and took my dad there and then. He took him away from us. My, no, our dad was gone forever.

Although we tried to console each other, it did not really work out. Losing our dad was something we could not just get over with. There were so many emotions inside of me.

As soon as I had arrived back home, I called Cassie. I desperately needed someone around me who could cheer me up. Somebody I loved.

Being with her was right. I felt it.

Author's notes: Rest in Peace, Felipe :( It was sad to see him die, but at least it was while his entire family (or what was left of it) was around him.

Finn's new direction in life is interesting. Something clearly makes him happier than before and seems to have helped him find the way and figure out what he wants. Who he wants.

Sorry for the long break! Although I had the last three weeks off, I didn't manage to play much. There was a lot to do for university (as I tend to start writing essays and papers in the last minute), in addition spring finally started! Sunshine, sunshine, sunshine. It is amazing. 

Chapter title is German :D The translation for that would be "love is", which does not sound like a great title. But it's a great song and I love it.